A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea". Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together the comments that were funny and sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years.
This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)
Whales are animals, not fish. If they don’t get air they can drown, like my brother did last summer.
(David age 7)
Oysters’ balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don’t have sea all around you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne age 7)
I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)
A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it’s head.
(Billy age 6)
My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.
My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)
I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant ?
(Helen age 7)
I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy age 8)
Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)
My mom has fish nets, but doesn’t catch any fish.
(Laura age 5)
When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)
When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors.
(Valerie age 6)
On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water shot up her cootchie.
(Julie age 7)